Sinic Meets Santa

A. Sinic Here Means Ethanol, OR .. A Wordplay on Sinner+Cynic .. (the meaning of article would depend on your interpretation)

B. I'm NOT purposefully Trying to hurt anybody's Religious/Festive/any Sentiments, Nor am I Offending anybody's right to be offended .. But, I'm aware that I might've just ACCIDENTALLY crossed the Bar, For which I'm Pre-Emptively SORRY (bold, italicized and ... wait- for- it UNDERLINED .. Exonerated )

C. Nothing against Christianity or Hannukah, for all you know, the writer has also created a parallel Ramayana.. So sit back and enjoy (or atleast pretend to)

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The coolest thing about being an insomniac is, you don't realize who you are after 2 A.M. and you get to meet a lot of Interesting people, namely Lonely-unloved-Vampires, Tooth Fairies asking for Dentist's Addresses and but off-course SANTA*

(* Conditions apply, Please read the offer document carefully before signing or refer to THE RED HERRING PROSPECTUS** )

(** RED HERRING PROSPECTUS: Santa shall visit your abode, only If H.R. Dept shall cover full expenses of the travel and re-imburse in a week of submission of form 2-A.
And only if you've been good or have offered him tea, handpicked by Assamese women above 18 years of age (Santa's finnicky bout child labour) and Alu Pakoras shallow fried in oil aided with Oryzanol and is low on cholesterol)

So after fulfilling all the pre-requisites about his visit, I heard a thud on my Door ..

I did Not have a chimney and Santa-the-Proud-LINUX-owner won't take WINDOWS !

Entered Santa, and the rendezvous began ..

Sinic: So Santa, what brings you here ?
Santa: 1stly, ARE YOU Taping it ??!? I don't want to get into the Radia-like mess ..

Sinic: (Thinking to himself: God ! Why didn't I think of it before ?! this totally could've been my INDIA-TV Moment or ... an Entry Pass to Big Boss-5 .. and he secretly turns on his cam-corder) NO Absolutely Not !!

Santa: Thanks, since you're NOT taping .. Where's the promised food ?!

sinic: Shall get it soon, Oh ! You're driving a TATA NANO !! Where are your Reindeers ?!?

Santa: Umm.. Yess ! About that .. it's world's biggest and Costliest oven with Wheels .
Had to stop driving Reindeers,As Menaka Gandhi went on a Hunger Strike with adequate support from from Arundhati Roy, regarding "Prevention Of Cruelty On Animals Act."
The Only Downside of Nano is .. I Can't Deliver Gifts in W. Bengal and specifically, Singur ..
Wondering, If I can use Elephants next year from U.P. this thing gives less mileage ..

Sinic: I see, your Bag .. Shorter than the Previous Year .. Why ?
Santa: Yeah ! 2009 was tough .. there was this- RECESSION and thence job cuts, and thenafter when I wanted to travel .. there was a Volcano in Iceland ..

Sinic: No kidding.. You faced Jobcuts ?? whoa ! how did ya manage then ?!?
Santa: It was simple .. We plead for a BAILOUT and Got a Stimulus Package .. was a plum-cake-walk ..

I mean, that's the best thing about our Govt. The top corporate officials end up in a Scam and thence decalre a bankruptcy and the Govt. without a breaking a sweat, gives you the TAXPAYER's hard-earned money from the same corporate .. Just like that ..

Sinic: Whoa ! That's like Crap-Eating-Crap-andthen-excreting-Crap ! Anyway, I'm always excited about your Costumes, They're Red & White .. The SAME colors of a Doft-Drink Brand .. a Mere Co-Incidence ??!?
Santa: No !! Next You'll say, "Santa Wears RED ! He must be A Freaking Maoist !!"

Sinic: I Was just Asking, Sorry .. But Tell Me, how does this JOY_OF_GIVING Feel ?!?
Santa: Joy-Of-Giving ?! What is that ?? I Mean Christmas, Where is it ?!?
In your Mobile phone ?! in form of various ASCII Texts from "people-like-beings", who won't talk to you when you're together ? At times like these I think friends couldbe bought and that TOO at 25% Discount ..
In form of 50% Off Christmas Bonanza Offer at Already-overpriced Malls, who've completely killed skilled labour and this sale is nothing but Stock Clearance ?!
In form of Christmas Parties, where everybody's wearing what they think others might like and talking in a "lingo" that muight make them sound cool ?!
Sinic: Come On ! It's a Lot Better than that, You bring joy and smiles to a lot many kids and still instil a Belief about the triumph of good ..
Santa: uh .... Now My Head is spinning ... The Way you said it makes me Want to ASK for a SALARY HIKE !!

Sinic: Sure man ! Tell me more about your job .. it must be exciting ..
Santa: You bet ! I travel a Lot .. plus i get Easy Visa to UK/USA/CANADA/OMAN/QATAR/DUBAI ... And Nobody cares If I'm a PATEL/SINGH/NAIR/BABYKUTTY/KAUR ...

The Coolest part, I DO NOT have to give a GRE, TOEFL, IELTS, SAT ...

Sinic: I'm Really glad that we met, My faith and belief in Religion was Dwindling amidst all the capitalization of Festives ..
Santa: anytime Kiddo ! Do "Like" our Page : SANTA RULES !! on FB and follow us on Twitter ..

Sinic: Just 1 last Question .. You keep a watch on people, if the've been good or Not, WHO keeps a Watch on You ??

Santa: Not Now !! I'm already behind schedule,I've got a Frantic Text from FINANCE Dept ..

saying I've gotta give the BIGGEST gift to a somebody called "J. Assange" .. The guy Must Be REALLY GOOOOOOODDDD !